A Simple Guide for a Better Marriage by Gary Chapman & John Hinkley

Author:Gary Chapman & John Hinkley [Chapman, Gary & Hinkley, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2025-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

THINK ABOUT IT—DISCUSS IT—APPLY IT

1. Think about the last decision you made as a couple where you were not unified.

2. Who made the final decision?

3. How did the decision-making process affect your relationship?

4. Looking back on the decision, was it the right one?

5. What did you learn from the decision, its outcome, and this chapter that will change your approach the next time you and your spouse disagree?

15

The Art of Apologizing

AT THE AGE OF FIVE our granddaughter, who was visiting us, asked her grandmother, “May I have some stickers?” She knew that Karolyn had a “sticker drawer.” Karolyn said to Davy Grace, “Certainly. You may have three stickers. You can choose any three that you like.” Karolyn went about her business and approximately thirty minutes later I walked in the house and saw stickers all over the house. They were on chairs, doors, and drawers. One was on the oven door, another on the refrigerator. I said to Karolyn, “Why all the stickers?” Karolyn looked around and realized what had happened. She said to Davy Grace, “You disobeyed Grandmother. I said you could have three stickers. You have taken many and placed them all around the house.” Davy Grace began to cry and said, “I need somebody to forgive me.” Of course, Karolyn wrapped her arms around her and said, “Grandmother forgives you. I love you so much.”

Davy Grace spoke for the human race when she said, “I need somebody to forgive me.” This is one of the fundamental realities that must be embraced if we are to have healthy marriages. There are no perfect husbands, though one man did raise his hand when his pastor asked, “Does anyone know of a perfect husband?” He shot his hand right up and said, “My wife’s first husband.” My observation is, if there are perfect husbands, they are deceased, and most of them became perfect after they died. The reality is we are all human, and from time to time we say and do things that hurt our spouses and fracture our relationships.

Apologizing is the first step in finding forgiveness. Yet, some of us were taught not to apologize. I remember the young man who said to me, “My father said, ‘Real men don’t apologize.’” I said to him, “Your father was probably a good man, but he got some bad information.” The reality is real men must apologize if we are to have good marriages. The same is true of real women.

Part of our problem is that we have different ideas as to what it means to apologize. I remember the wife sitting in my office with her husband who said, “I would forgive him if he would apologize.”

To which he responded, “I did apologize.”

She said, “You did not apologize.”

He said, “I told you I was sorry.”

She retorted, “That is not an apology.”

Most of us learn to apologize from our parents. My guess is that the man mentioned above, when he was a child, pushed his sister and his mother said, “Johnny, don’t push your sister.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.